Look, I know I keep changing my blog background. I'm really indecisive, and I like change. I will probably end up changing my blog name, as soon as I think of something better.

So, just deal with it.

:)

Goals

Ok people.

I am making some goals. Some resolutions. I am going to be BETTER!

Of course, I decided this all last night, a Sunday, when I was all spiritually enlightened from a great day. I always feel like being "better" after a great Sunday. And then Monday rolls around....

But the fact that I am writing this Monday morning means I am still thinking about being good! Its a good thing.

So here they are. I wrote them down at about 1:00 last night.

1. Read scriptures at least 20 min everyday (preferably before 11:00 p.m.)
2. Exercise everyday (if possible)
3. Clean my room (today) and keep it clean. This is includes a massive organization project.
4. Do SERVICE! I am going to be more aware of the people around me and their needs. Whether they are my closest friends and family, or random members of the branch or coworkers, I will be there to make their day better :)

Those are the main ones. I really hope that I don't fail, because I hate that.

But here's the thing. I've been trying to think of a way of doing what Elder Holland asked us to do before we left Jerusalem. He told us that we can't ever forget what we learned, we can't ever go back! So I was struggling to keep my memories and feelings fresh and not feel the pain of missing a chunk of my heart. Also, I just gave a talk in church, which gave me a chance to talk about Jerusalem, but I won't have that many more opportunities to give talks. So now I am going to use my love for the Savior to serve and help others. To be His hands. I think it is the perfect way to keep the Jerusalem spirit with me. And as I serve others, I will forget my own Jerusalem woes and feel as happy as I did during those 4 amazing months. :) I am so excited!

life

So. It feels so strange to report that nothing exciting has been going on in my life...what a change.

The post-Jerusalem depression has been getting easier. Most days are perfectly fine, especially if I'm busy hanging out with my friends (which usually consists of sitting at Jamie's talking....maybe playing catchphrase or Mario Cart), and I have work three nights a week to distract me.

Preservation Kitchen is actually treating me pretty well. Its almost fun! I'm getting the hang of the whole hostess and server's assistant thing. And its kind of fun because I get to dress up and look cute, but then I get really jealous of everyone around me having a night out and eating delicious food. Oh well.

Sometime last week I opted to go to bed instead of going to Jamie's after work. So in bed I started looking on facebook...at pictures of Jerusalem friends etc. And guess what? It HIT me. I had this huge ache in my chest like there was a chunk of my heart that was missing. And all I wanted was to be back at the Jerusalem Center with my three incredible roommates, or be back on the bus next to Abby driving somewhere amazing, or be wandering the streets of my favorite city with no care in the world. But...I had to tell my aching heart that it was over. Depressing right?

I realized that this is why I always want to hang out with my friends at night. To distract me from awful experiences such as that.

But other than random hear-wrenching experiences like those, I'm doing great. :)

I need to get another job to supplement the three nights a week that I have. But I'm having fun going to the weekly events. Church on Sunday, FHE Monday, work Tuesday, Ultimate Frisbee Wednesday, work Thursday, partying Friday, and work Saturday and party after work!

See? Life after Jerusalem isn't too bad, right? ...maybe? :)

Moving on

Well, I have this job. And I'm getting trained tonight (which i'm not that excited about), but I've decided to have a positive attitude because I don't like living my life in anger and negativity. So there.

But last night I had a cool experience where I got to participate in a presentation on the Holy Land! A couple from church did a tour last year and they were organizing a presentation and since I just got home, I got to help!
It was so fun! I got bring most of my souvenirs and set them up for people to see, and then I got to show some pictures and talk about my new favorite place ever! Oh man, I miss Israel. But it was so wonderful to talk about this land that I am so passionate about and tell about some of my experiences.

I loved it. And then I went and hung out with friends! Yay social life! I guess I've been missing being with 80 of my favorite people all day every day. Not that my parents aren't great...they're just not quite the same.

But thankfully, my Easter candy is almost gone.

And I went running yesterday. Yay me!

Cheese and Wine

Guess what?

I think I got a job.
Unfortunately I'm not that excited about it, but it's a summer job right? Who gets excited about those?

It is a hostessing job at a cute little restaurant called Preservation Kitchen in downtown Bothell. I think it could be fun...I just need to get past the first few days of messing up and making mistakes, and then it could be OK.

Sometimes I just want to go back to school for Summer term. That would solve my laziness problem. And it would distract me from thinking about Jerusalem every 5 minutes.

One more problem: I LEFT MY IPOD ON THE AIRPLANE. How am I supposed to go running without music??!! The only solution is getting a job and earning money to buy a new one all by me onesies.
How many hours will I need to work to earn enough?...........I'm bad at math.

But its OK! Because it is good to be independent and earn things on my own! I'm going to have a positive attitude. Enough of this complaining and negativity!

In the wise words of a dear friend, "Would you like some cheeese with that whine?!"

I may or may not be having Abby withdrawals. 

LOVE

Screaming

In the words of Troy Bolton "I want my own dream, so bad I'm GONNA SCREAM!"

Well. I'm not really worried about my dreams, I think they're pretty good. But I think I can understand how this High School Musical star is feeling right now.

I knew this might happen, but I didn't expect to be so soon. I've been home, what, 4 days? 3 1/2? Do I need to get a job? Yes. Do I want to get out of my pajamas and get it the car and go job hunting? No. Do I want to keep sitting here in my pajamas, sorting through Jerusalem pictures and eating Easter candy? No.

See, that's the problem. I'm too lazy to get where I need to get so that I don't feel this way anymore. Lets be honest though, what I really want is to be back in Jerusalem with all my JC besties romping around the streets of the Old City.

FACE REALITY EMILY, ITS OVER.

OK.....its over. I can deal with that. I can accept it. But then again...I am sitting here on my bed, in my pajamas, listening to High School Musical and eating Easter candy...

I need a job.

Too Much

How do I begin?
1. I'm really behind on blogging
2. I'm leaving TOMORROW
3. I'm depressed
4. I'm excited to eat Cafe Rio
5. I'm excited to see my family (and especially my nephew!!!)
6. I.....am exhausted, and tired of crying and being emotionally drained

Here's the thing. I love home, I always have. And I always love going home, but Jerusalem has become my home too. So how am I supposed to feel? Conflicted. Frustrated. Brokenhearted.... Excited and Hopeful.

If there is anything that I have learned here (I feel like I say that phrase a lot), it's that I am a changed person. This experience has rewarded me with a great responsibility. I have learned more than I thought I could have, and I have never loved so deeply. I now have 80 brothers and sisters, and several sets of parents. That's what they will always be to me (of course my real family can never be replaced ;). So I get to go home and share it. Share my love, share my knowledge, and share my testimony.

No matter how many words I use to try and explain how I feel, to explain what this place has done to me....it's not sufficient. They always say a picture is worth a hundred words right? Well, here are a bunch of pictures, hopefully they can explain this better than me.

Jordan

Abby, Britt, and I at the top of Machaerus (the Roman Palace where John the Baptist was beheaded) overlooking the Dead Sea

Petra - Jordan

Standing in front of the Monastery.

View from the hike up to the Monastery.

The Royal Tombs at Petra.

The Treasury. Yes, this is where Indiana Jones goes to find the Holy Grail in The Last Crusades. And no, the Holy Grail is not inside.

Jerash - Jordan

Jerash, old Roman city.

A Black Iris - Jordan's National Flower.

Jerash, overlooking the plaza

In the theater at Jerash, while we had a dance party with a bunch of school girls, and these awesome musicians (playing the bagpipe and drums)

At some castle...I forget which one.

The biggest Roman theater still standing - in downtown Amman.

The Jordan River.


Eilat - Snorkeling at the Dead Sea

Floating at the Dead Sea

Dead Sea mud anyone?

Tel Aviv

The Mediterranean and Tel Aviv in the background.

Abby and I wading in the Mediterranean.

Mallory, Whitney, Britt, Me, and Ashling :) Chillin at the beach