Floundering

My parents were given a challenge in church last week to share their favorite scripture with their family, so they emailed all of us and encouraged us to do the same.

 Lately i've been feeling like I'm not being my best self, at least when it comes to the gospel. There is so much more I should be doing to live the gospel to the best of my abilities. To truly live my life as Christ would. I know one way to start improving is doing better at scripture study. 

  I was reading a letter that I received from my old roommate who is on a mission right now, and she said some amazingly beautiful things to me, and then she told me to read D&C 78: 17-19. I think this is applicable to everyone at any stage of life, but I feel it is especially good for me now.
   

17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are ^alittle children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;

 18 And ye cannot ^abear all things now; nevertheless, be of good^bcheer, for I will ^clead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the ^driches of ^eeternity are yours.  

19 And he who receiveth all things with ^athankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an ^bhundred fold, yea, more.

It is comforting to know that our Father in Heaven has so much in store for us, that we can't even realize. So while we "bear all things now" and endure the trials of this life with "good cheer", we will be blessed far more than we can imagine. I feel like sometimes I get stuck in a rut with the present, unable to clearly see the future, or see myself as God sees me. As his children, we are entitled to so many blessings and sometimes we just have to be patient and of good cheer until we receive all that the Father has to give us. 

   I've been spending this summer with an underlying terror of what is going to happen in the fall. Student teaching. I've spent the last four years preparing for it, but I don't feel prepared at all. Even if I spent the whole summer writing lesson plans, I don't think I would ever feel ready. I'm sure I'll feel better once it starts and I get a hang of the whole teaching thing, but until then I'm shakin' in my boots a little bit. 

  So with this uncertain future ahead of me and all the fun I get to have in the dating/social scene here at BYU, (catch that sarcasm?) I feel like a floundering fish out in the big ocean; a little lost and confused. I feel like I'm not living up to my full potential, and that I'm missing something....Though I'm not sure what it is exactly.

 I've decided I'm living a little selfishly and I think I would feel better and become a better person if I spent more time serving others and striving to keep the spirit more in my life. These things will help me live up to my full potential a little more and live more like a disciple of Christ should. 

   So just know this, no matter what trials you're going through and no matter how lost you may feel in the world right now, God is aware of your circumstances and he has amazing things in store for you. It may be this year, or may be far in the future. Nevertheless, "be of good cheer, and he will lead you along" this path of life until we reach that future where God will bless us with the riches of eternity.